Knowledge is key
by uumea
Summary: Generally speaking, if you decide to work with an alien species, you should probably be aware of their customs, culture and anatomy. Jim wasn't.


„Bones, Mr. Spock is in need of medical attention." Captain James T. Kirk and his First Officer had just returned from a minor mission on a small planet that shouldn't have been as dangerous as it turned out to be. A group of angry inhabitants had decided to attack them without a warning, which resulted in a quite impressive blue bruise on Jim's thigh and a fist-sized piece of glass stuck in the Vulcan's right upper arm.

„It's merely a glass fragment, Captain. I am very much capable of removing it myself."

„Sure you are, but we have medical staff on this ship and they are trained to do this. Right, Bones?" He looked around Sickbay, only to find it empty.

„Where the hell is everyone?"

„Probably celebrating Mr. Chekov's birthday, seeing as you sent the whole crew to do so two hours and thirty-three minutes ago."

Right, he _had_ done that. „Nah, go and have fun, everyone! Spock and I will be back in no time to join the celebration. This isn't gonna take long!" he remembered himself saying. Well, that hadn't gone according to plan. They'd most likely all be drunk by now.

„Well, then. I guess I'm gonna have to do it for you." Jim said while reaching for disinfectant and a bandage.

„Captain, that is really not neccessary. I will do it myself."

But Jim was not gonna give up so easily.

„Come on, Spock. It'd be so much easier if you'd let me do it. Look, just sit down there, I'll pull it out, disinfect the wound and it'll all be well in no time."

He felt like a mother fussing over his child. Which, admitingly, he kinda was. After all, the half-vulcan was the most stubborn idiot Jim had ever met.

„Captain, this is illogical."

„You're illogical." Wow, Jim. Smooth. Way to not sound like a sulking teenager. Who's the child here?

Not even concerning himself with an answer to such a childish remark, Spock simply raised one perfect eyebrow to look at his captain. After about half a minute, he sighed in defeat.

„Go ahead, if you must. Arguing about a matter as insignificant as this seems highly counterproductive anyway."

A big smile spread on Jim's face as he heard this and he gestured for Spock to sit himself down on one of the beds, which he did. Very gracefully, one might add. Not that Jim would ever think about something like that. Placing himself next to his vulcan partner, he inspected the damage.

„Okay, here I go. So, let me just..." Placing one hand just above the glass piece to stabilize Spock, he gently pulled at the fragment, trying not to tear the skin more than it already was. Spock flinched slightly, but didn't make a sound.

After having fully removed the piece of glass, Jim quickly placed a disinfecting cotton pad over the cut to stop the bleeding.

„You're gonna have to take your shirt of, I can't bandage your arm like this." Spock shot him a sullen look but quietly complied, performing quite a gymnastic routine to not hurt himself in the process.

And then he was shirtless. Jim hadn't thought about that before giving the order. Of course Spock would be shirtless if he took off his shirt. Shirtless, as in, half naked. As in, muscular, half-vulcan, half-human perfection right before his eyes. At this point, it seems fitting to note that Jim was madly in love with his First Officer. Not that he'd ever say that out loud.

But he could look, right? Looking couldn't hurt anyone. He let his eyes wander over Spock's exposed collarbone to his chest and then his stomach. Or his abs, rather. Damn. What he wouldn't give to touch that perfect, light-green skin, to let his hands roam from his chest to his back, feeling the strong muscles there…

A small cough brought him back to reality. Spock looked at him with a bemused, slightly impatient expression, brows furrowed and eyes narrowed. In his left hand he held the bandage.

„Captain? Would you be so kind?" Jim felt himself blush and quickly grabbed the bandage from Spock, making sure to look everywhere but his eyes (and, frankly, his muscles).

Gesturing to his friend to lift his arm, he proceeded to quickly wrap the bandage around it while desperately trying to think of something unsexy. Spock just stared in the other direction, appearing to be completely unfazed by the whole situation. Of course, why wouldn't he be? A friend tending to another friends injuries was an absolutely normal thing to do. Jim mentally slapped himself for his inappropriate thoughts.

After he had finished bandaging the arm, Spock lowered it and started to get up and leave, but Jim quickly got a hold of his hand and pulled him back down. With his free hand, he reached behind him to get a piece of tape.

„Wait! Still need to fasten the bandage." he said while tightening it and then securing the end with the tape. He leaned back to admire his work and turned to look at Spock to smile and say something along the lines of 'See? That went well, didn't it?' but Spock didn't look at him. Instead, his eyes were fixed on their hands, which were still kind of entwined between them and he carried an expression that Jim had never seen on him before.

What Jim hadn't noticed was that, while working on the bandage, he had been absentmindedly stroking Spock's fingers with his own.

„Spock? What's wr-"

But Spock didn't let him finish. Instead, he yanked his hand free and passed the room in less than a second. Breathing heavily, he stared at his captain who was completely dumbfounded.

Jim stood up and took a few steps towards Spock with a worried expression on his face.

„Is everything alright? Are you hurt anywhere else, did I do something wrong?"

And with that, something in Spock seemed to snap. With a couple of long and fast stripes he had Jim pinned against the next wall, his hands pressed to the wall and their chests almost touching. Spock was still half-naked, Jim noted.

„'Did I do something wrong?' I don't know, did you?" he practically growled, his eyes gleaming with… something, something Jim couldn't quite grasp. It wasn't anger, not really.

Jim didn't really understand the problem. What was the big deal? He knew Spock didn't like being touched, but surely this wasn't the problem here? Treating an injury is a neccessary thing to do. They had touched before but never had Spock reacted in any way as strongly as today. Had he made a mistake while treating the injury? Was there some kind of special treatment he had forgotten? Oh, Spock was kissing him now. Huh.

His thought process came to an aprupt halt. Hnngh? Wait, what? Spock was kissing him? What the hell? How did this happen? WHAT?

It was a slow kiss, starting innocently enough but quickly turning rather hot and heavy. Still, it didn't last long enough for Jim to get over his initial shock and actually kiss back. When Spock's lips left his, he felt himself following them ever so slightly, but quickly stopped himself in the action.

„Nghhh? Whaa- I don't-"

Jim wasn't able to form a coherent thought, let alone words.

Spock stared into his eyes, brows furrowed slightly and lips pressed to a tight line. Then something changed in his eyes. Jim couldn't say for sure if it had actually happened, but for a second, he could have sworn that he saw a spark of something akin to desperation in those dark eyes and they widened ever so slightly. The moment was gone as soon as it came.

When he spoke, his voice was as calm as always, his face the same mask of no emotion.

„Revenge, Captain. I advise you to educate yourself about the vulcan anatomy."

And then he was gone, leaving a very confused and slightly aroused captain.

Jim wasn't sure what he had done after that, but at one point he must have gone back to his quarters, because that was where he found himself the next morning. Had the last day really happened?

He got up, not feeling well rested at all, and went to have a quick shower and to put on some fresh clothes. The previous day, he had apparently been too shocked to change out of his still dirty uniform. Awesome.

While putting on fresh clothes, he pondered over the strangeness that was his First Officer. What did he mean, 'educating himself about the vulcan anatomy'? What had that to do with anything? He was as confused as ever. But he decided to pay a visit to his favourite doctor to ask him about vulcans.

„Boooones!" he whined as he entered Sickbay, earning a frown and a scoff from said doctor.

„Why, Jim, how nice of you to visit me on this fine day. Goddammit, what happened? You never came to the party and when I asked the hobgoblin where you where he didn't give me more than a death glare."

Jim gave a deep sigh.

„The mission didn't go as planned, we were attacked and Spock was injured, and then..." he stopped himself, pulling a pained grimace.

„What? Attacked? On that flea of a planet?" The doctor shook his head. „Could only happen to you two. Well, go on? What happened then?"

„Uh, so, I tended to Spock's injury since you lot were all celebrating, and then Spock… I don't even know! Bones, what do you know about vulcan anatomy?" Jim's voice sounded as desperate as he felt.

„Why in the world are you asking me this?"

„I don't know, Spock was acting kinda… weird? And I just wanted to, i don't know, know if something was maybe wrong with him, I guess?"

He was rambling and he knew it, but he couldn't bring himself to say what happened, not only because he wasn't even one hundred percent sure that it did actually happen, but also because he didn't want to scar the doctor for life.

„What did you do?"

„What makes you think I did something?"

„Goddamit, Jim, because I'm your friend and I know you're not telling me everything. Spit it out!"

Jim swallowed.

„Uh, okay, so I was bandaging his wound and I took his hand because he wanted to leave before I was done with it and then..." And then… oh _god_. Had he actually stroked Spock's hand? How could he have forgotten that? This time the slapping wasn't mental.

„And then, what?!"

„Shit, and then I guess I kinda stroked his hand? And his fingers? And then he started acting all weird and it's so confusing because yeah, I know he doesn't like being touched but I mean, it's not that big of a deal, right?"

Bones looked like he suddenly felt very sick to his stomach.

„You did not do that." He shook his head, seemingly astounded by Jim's stupidity.

„And you're telling me you don't know what you did? Oh my god. I'm not telling you about this, I'm feeling sick just thinking about it. Here, take this."

He went to a nearby bookshelf and grabbed a book, throwing it in Jim's general direction who struggled to catch it, but eventually did.

„This will tell you all you need to know. Read it, understand, and apologize. And get the hell out of here, this is too much for my nerves."

Bones ushered an even more confused Jim out of the door and, while shooting him one last sympathetic look, said:

„And one last thing: If I were you, I'd hope to never meet Spock ever again."

And with that, Jim was alone again and turned to walk back to his quarters, where he quietly sat down to his desk and started reading the book. He read until he reached the chapter about vulcan romance. And their marriages. And their kisses.

Oh. Shit.

So, guess who was the biggest oblivious fool in the universe. Correct, it was James T. Kirk.

He couldn't believe he had done such a thing. Violating Spock like that… Of course he had reacted the way he did. It all made sense now. He was lucky the vulcan hadn't punched him or done something worse. If some random dude came to him and kissed him, he would have punched him. Spock must hate him now. Shit, that hurt.

Of course, the only thing he could do was apologize. Which meant having to face Spock. Gulp.

A very nervous Jim found himself standing in front of his first officer's quarters, shifting his weight from one foot to another and not quite sure if he really wanted to do this or not. Oh, fuck it.

He knocked three times.

The door opened, and Spock was there, beautiful as ever, vulcan as ever. His face showed no emotions whatsoever.

„Captain."

„Mr. Spock. May I come in?"

Instead of answering Spock just moved away to let Jim in who nervously followed his friend (were they still friends?) inside. Spock went to lean against a wall and bored his eyes into Jim's, who had to look away after a few seconds.

„So… I, uh. I apologize. Really, I'm truly sorry. It was a stupid thing to do, in fact, I didn't know what I was doing. But you probably guessed that already… It wasn't my intention to, uh, you know, make out with you or anything."

He just stood there, eyes on the ground, hands nervously fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

„No, of course it wasn't."

Did that sound a little sad? Jim looked up at Spock, who still showed absolutely no sign of being affected by any of this. No, he was probably just imagining things again.

„So… Do you accept my apology?"

„Yes. There is a human terminology which I believe goes something like 'It is not a big deal'."

No, of course it wasn't a big deal. He had just been surprised in that moment. Thinking back to it, accidentally kissing someone is not that bad. Sure, it's awkward, but…

„Right. Sorry. It won't happen again." Jim mumbled, turning to leave.

„I must also apologize for my reaction, it was not appropriate. I should have known that you were merely lacking knowledge."

Jim stopped. Wait. Spock's reaction. With all the confusion and shame that Jim had felt he had completely forgotten about Spock's reaction. He had... kissed him, hadn't he? Why had he done that? Was that just Spock feeling violated and then deciding to violate Jim right back? Revenge, he had said. Sure, that made sense. Right?

But did it make sense? Revenge was a very human thing to do. Not at all vulcan. And also quite...

„… illiogical." Jim murmured. He looked up.

„Captain?"

„After I… accidentally made out with you, you..." His mouth went dry at the memory, but he continued nonetheless. „…kissed me. Why did you do that?"

Spock's face remained emotionless, but the tips of his ears turned a very bright shade of green.

„It was merely to pay you back for what you did. Like I said. Revenge."

Jim furrowed his brows and took a few steps towards Spock.

„But if you hated the hand kiss that much… Why would you want to kiss me? To make me feel the same level of discomfort you felt?"

He kept stepping closer, until he had Spock in almost the same position he had found himself in the previous day. Now it was his turn to stare into Spock's eyes. Who was, of course, still not showing any real sign of emotion except for the green blush that crept it's way up his neck.

„But that would be illogical, wouldn't it? To make yourself uncomfortable just to make me feel uncomfortable. No vulcan would do that. Neither would a human, to be honest. Unless..."

He let that sentence hang in the air, unfinished.

Spock opened his mouth to say something, but Jim decided that he wouldn't hear any more of it. Instead, he decided to just blow all caution into the wind, he had already screwed everthing up pretty bad, so he might as well test his theory now. So he slowly reached out and took Spock's hand in his. The half-vulcan flinched, but didn't pull away.

Staring into Spocks face, determined not to miss any possible reaction he might gain, Jim began to lightly trace his thumb over his First Officer's palm and fingers. And yes, this time, Spock did react.

He made a quiet hissing noise and his eyes, which were following Jim's wandering finger, darkened visibly. His breathing became heavier and his hands started to tremble slightly. A small smile appeared on Jim's face at that. So he had been right.

„… unless you actually wanted to kiss me." he whispered, using his free hand to gently force Spock to look at him. For a moment, they simply glanced at each other, mesmerized. The captain's eyes were warm and determined, Spock's eyes burning into his. And then he slowly closed the remaining distance between them to properly kiss his First Officer. There it was, the firework. And this time it was a million times better, because he kissed back.

The kiss was desperate, the two of of them trying to convey all the pent-up emotions they had been holding back. They both had their free hands in each other's hair, on each other's neck, on each other's backs and their fingers entwined and neither of them had ever felt anything quite as amazing as this moment. Until Spock pulled back to look at his captain, who was smiling at him with a dazed expression on his face.

„...Jim."

„Spock."

„May I…?" Spock whispered, gently placing his fingers on particular points of Jim's face, who recognized the gesture from the book he had read and nodded, while smiling.

A wave of love flashed over him as he was bombarded with images and emotions. He felt everything Spock felt, Spock felt everything he felt, no, he was Spock, or was Spock him? Their minds were one. And Jim wouldn't have it any other way.

Meanwhile, at Sickbay, Leonard McCoy felt a cold shiver running down his spine.

„Goddammit, Jim!"


End file.
